Embalmed Alive

I’ve got to stop watching the television. Bill Nye the Science Guy told me today that I’m being embalmed alive. Yes ladies and gentleman, turns out that morticians use half the amount of embalming fluid to preserve corpses than they used 20 years ago.

It’s time to add “stop using formaldehyde” to our list of ways to reduce and offset our carbon footprint.

Because this toxic embalming fluid is everywhere.

It’s in the fiberglass home insulation, the press board used to construct the walls of trailers, campers and mobile homes. It is in paper, wood and fertilizers. It is used to preserve food. It is in makeup and beauty products. It is some vaccines and medicines. When formaldehyde breaks down it becomes two different chemicals: formic acid and carbon monoxide.

Formaldehyde is bad for your health, can irritate and damage the lungs, affect the nervous system and in large quantities kill you. Some studies show a connection between formaldehyde exposure and cancer. Others say it “just” irritates the eyes and can cause asthma. Its bad for our health, our homes and the environment.

Formaldehyde is just one more chemical that is synthetically produced in factories that wastes energy and release carbon. If we stop supporting the manufacturer of such products by not buying them, it will eventually stop. It is a VOC (volatile organic compound) and if it was in your house paint, you wouldn’t buy it. But because it’s openly “hidden” (if you know what I mean) in everyday items, we bring it home without realizing.

How to avoid the formaldehyde? Shop organically, read labels and if you can’t give up that favorite cosmetic just yet? Buy some carbon credits to offset your use of poisons and help plant a tree or two.

We’ll need the extra wood for the coffins.

But at least we can save 50 percent on the price of embalming.

(shudder)